The Universal Law is impartial.

It will give you anything you believe.

It will throw you garbage or roses depending on the energy you put in.

You are the one in charge and you must accept that and stand alone.

If you think God is coming down to fix things for you, forget it.

God is out playing golf.

-Stuart Wilde


As the heart rule in the previous chapter states, we live in accordance with natural law. We have no choice about this. One of the fundamental natural laws is that humorised by Stuart Wilde: essentially, what we put in, we get back. And it’s what we put in that counts..

Matter and energy are one and the same thing, we now know. It is just the rate of vibration of the particles involved that differentiate a chair from a feeling. Feelings are things as much as a …. dog is.


Which brings us to an exciting ‘a-ha’…… IF feelings are as real as so-called solid objects, then our feelings are much more powerful than we thought! They can pack more punch than an All Blacks front row. (That’s our national rugby team btw).


The Law of Attraction

This is truly the most exciting revelation quantum mechanics has opened up to us. It seems we hold between our ears and within our hearts, infinite power to direct matter; to attract abundance, the perfect mate, and to live lives of our own limitless creation. The Law of Attraction basically states that whatever we focus on, we magnetise to us! It is that simple. Focus on what we want, and …..along it comes. Focus on what we don’t want, on our fears and lacks – and lo and behold, along they come too!


There is nothing new in this teaching. The only thing new about it is that it is now able to be demonstrated scientifically. Energy and matter are the same thing – it is only the rate of vibration that differentiates one from the other. So, through our thoughts and feelings we can manipulate the physical universe. We can attract to ourselves whatever our hearts desire.  There is however, a slight catch. It is not enough to just ‘want’. We need to overlay those wants with the power of emotion.  Emotion, it appears, is the rocket fuel to bring all our desires into our lives. Without emotion, we may still get what we focus on – but it will take much longer for it to manifest in our lives. This is important, because if we are serious about meeting our heart mates, we need to know these things.


The ancient wisdom keepers knew this law of attraction. The Dead Sea Scrolls, unearthed in 1946 contain startling insights into the mysteries of prayer and energy – mysteries that modern science is just beginning to understand.  One of the mysteries revealed in the Dead Sea Scrolls is that through directing our focus – or where we send our attention, we can actually bring about a whole new course of events.  The energy of an emotion is stronger than that of a thought, so when desires come wrapped in emotion, they are greatly intensified and thus more speedily delivered to us. The secret is focus, attention, mindfulness and a walloping dose of emotion.


It follows then, that if we want to magnetise the ‘perfect relationship’, we need to direct our thoughts, feelings and emotions towards this end. What is exciting is the knowledge that we have the power to do this!  (I’ll talk more about this later)……BUT, ther e is a qualification that needs to be made here: what do we mean by perfect? Are you wanting to attract someone who will ‘meet your every need’, who will give you unconditional, undying love?  Probably. And why wouldn’t you want that?


The less than good news is – that ‘perfect person’ isn’t necessarily going to enter your life to make it perfect. Their appropriateness for you is about deeper and more important things than what you may label ‘meeting your needs.’  Intrigued?   Read on…..


Relationships of the intimate kind are our temples of learning, our crucibles of change, our melting pot of opportunity…….They mark our lives’ deepest, most searingly passionate moments. And they also define our bleakest.  Nothing feels as painful as the fractured heart. Not having the ‘love’ of other people,  feeling their active dislike of us, is infinitesimal when weighed against the agony of being rejected by our lover.  Losing the love of a friend is a light rain shower; losing the love of a beloved is a wild, tumultuous storm, washing away the very ground we’re standing on. The heart knows the difference between universal love and intimate love oh too well.


It is through the challenges, from the agony to the ecstasy of intimate  relationships that we can come to know our own capacity for love. It is one thing to love humanity as a whole, but (sorry Einstein) I believe the harder thing is to love one other person, thoroughly, unconditionally, completely.


Through the challenges of intimate love, we come to know ourselves. When we have the courage to explore our wounded places, our vulnerabilities, weaknesses, scars – old and new, we can open ourselves to grow past them. Once we see ourselves in the naked light of emotional honesty, we are free to love wholeheartedly and unreservedly.  Makes it sound easy I know – and yes, I know this isn’t the case. But listen, I do know this: the heart, with its infinite intelligence, is the king pin, it rules. Why not trust it? As the findings of the Heartmath Institute demonstrate – it is the heart that entrains the brain. The heart is the captain of our ship! Which means simply, that the voice of our intuition is the voice we should be listening to.


How often we forget to listen to this wisdom of the heart. We are stuffing up this relationship business left, right and centre. The reason? Spending too much time in the fear zone. We need to know it is possible, and it is desirable, to come back to the simplicity of listening to our own innate wisdom.  Wisdom directed by the physical/spiritual organ, the heart.  Let’s stop being half-hearted, down-hearted, broken-hearted and let the heart direct our lives.


How do we do it? We take the risk to love and be loved.  And it IS a risk! We give our ego the book (or at least put it on part-time duties) – in essence, we keep our hearts open – consciously, consistently.  If we do this, we will be open to the intelligence that is organising our lives and our relationships. The secret to keeping our hearts open is maintaining our connections with others. (We will be discussing how to do this later)…


So why is keeping our hearts open such a big deal?  Because if we don’t, we break our connections and in the illusion of separateness, we become weaker – physically, emotionally and spiritually.  When fear and pain hit us, we close down – and closing our hearts is just not a good look – or feeling!  Closing down is a psychological,  as well as physical defence.  Just as we flinch when we hurt ourselves or are about to be hit, when we feel an emotional threat our hearts put up the barriers.  Pain, real or perceived, is the pain of contraction. We effectively cut off the air supply to our hearts through fear of pain coming at us. That air supply is the carrier of the vital life force  which flows through us and animates everything that lives. Grief – the pain of a broken bond of love – can cut off the vital current of life force into the heart region. We do not choose to feel this pain; it comes upon us through the sheer sadness that life brings at times. The dualism of life means there will inevitably be dark times. But what many of us do not always realize is that we do have the power to control our feelings.  Remember, we attract in accordance with what we project (think and feel).  Too often we are closing down when we don’t need to and creating our own pain, or deepening our grief.  Our beliefs are creating our reality. We are getting garbage, when we could be thrown roses.